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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780063">Dance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepony/pseuds/Skyepony'>Skyepony</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Sentinel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:49:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepony/pseuds/Skyepony</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dance</span>
</p><p>With appreciation and credit to Lee Ann Womack's "I hope you dance" for putting so much into so few words .</p><p>Standard disclaimers, don't own, don't get money for this etc…etc… but I can dream.</p><p>Warnings, well these guys language is some times less than delicate.</p><p>
  <span>
    <strong>Dance</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger </em>
    <em>,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Oh sweetie! Look at you, you're all dirty!</p><p>Lookie, lookie, bludderfi! Lookie mommy! Peese liff me…liff me. Up! Up!</p><p>You want me to lift you up? Oh! I see it baby. On that branch! It is beautiful.</p><p>Okay, let me take my shoes off first sweetie, the mud here is pretty deep.</p><p>Now stand still just a sec and mommy will lift you up to see. Is that better?</p><p>Gootie! Tank ou mommy. Luff ou.</p><p>Love you to sweetie. On the way home…you want to go by the library and get a book on butterflies?</p><p>Gootie. Yez yez yez. Wheeee.</p><p>...</p><p>Jimmie! Would you be careful? You'll wrinkle your suit twisting around in your seat like that.</p><p>But Dad…I tell ya there's a peregrine falcon on that fence back there. You know how rare they are now?</p><p>Don't be ridiculous. That fence was clean on the horizon, no way you could see a bird that far, much less what kind of bird.</p><p>I tell ya I saw it. And it WAS a peregrine! Let's go back Dad. Please. I want to get a closer look.</p><p>Nonsense. Even if it is a stupid falcon, what difference does it make? Useless bird. Anyway we need to get to the club. We're lunching with the Helmens. They're important business people who will be useful references to you when you go off to college.</p><p>But Dad!</p><p>Hush Jimmy. Turn around and sit straight and stop rubbernecking at everything.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>...</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>May you never take one single breath for granted,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>God forbid love ever leave you empty handed </em>
    <em>,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>It's okay sweetie. Don't cry. I have you. It's going to be all okay.</p><p>Sniffle. Hurts.</p><p>I know dear heart.</p><p>Sniffle. Sleepy.</p><p>You need to stay awake Blair. You need to listen to Mommy.</p><p>Hurts!</p><p>Yes sweetie. I know it hurts. You broke your arm falling out of Ms. Danbush's tree. So you have a nice new blue cast that matches your beautiful eyes. But you hit your head very bad and Mommy needs you to stay awake so the doctors can check you out.</p><p>Why?</p><p>Because you were unconscious sweetie.</p><p>Un ken shish?</p><p>Un con she us… unconscious. It means you may have hurt the inside of you head.</p><p>Oh… sniffle</p><p>Blair honey! What's wrong?</p><p>Sniffle. You said Mr. Tuttle hurt the inside of his head…an.. an… and he died. Am I going to die mommy?</p><p>OH BLAIR BABY! No! Mr. Tuttle was an old man, he had a stroke. You aren't going to die! Not for a long, loooonnnggg time.</p><p>Sniffle. Sniffle. Promise?</p><p>Yes dearie. Mommy promises. Come give me a hug sweetie.</p><p>Love you mommy.</p><p>Love you baby.</p><p>...</p><p>Ouch!</p><p>You need to sit still Jimmy. The doctor can't cast that arm with you squirming.</p><p>It HURTS Dad!</p><p>Oh buck up Jimmy. Be a man. It's just a broken arm, your throwing arm by the way. If it doesn't heal right your football career is over. You want to be the star of the gridiron, or stuck sitting on the bench? The quarterback or the water boy? A winner or loser? It's all about attitude Jimmy. What do you want to be?</p><p>A winner, Sir.</p><p>So stay still!</p><p>Sorry Dad.</p><p>Just remember son, no pain, no gain. Let the doctor cast it right so you'll have a future.</p><p>Yes sir.</p><p>
  <em>...</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens </em>
    <em>,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>WOW! This is soooo cool. Would you look at that? Man, I have never ever seen something soooo awesome.</p><p>Your first Nor'Easter huh son? The ocean certainly is churning tonight.</p><p>Yeah, what a show! I can't thank you enough Professor Oslin. This is just incredible.</p><p>Well I felt bad that you arrived in Cascade only to be turned down for Dr. Hoffman's expedition.</p><p>It's okay Professor, Naomi never thought to check if a fifteen year old could go on a summer expedition to Peru without a 'guardian'. She'd never heard of an emancipated minor rule. She's not really a 'rules' type, so it wouldn't even occur to her to ask. And getting to come on this trip with you instead to study the Coastal Inuit tribes is way cool. I wouldn't have missed it.</p><p>Well we're glad to have you Blair. You are a gifted student and an impressive anthropologist in the making.</p><p>Tthhanks.</p><p>...</p><p>Ellison!</p><p>Sir, Yes, SIR!</p><p>You have a problem Mister?</p><p>No SIR!</p><p>Than you want to explain why you're standing there staring out at the water and not getting your butt in that boat and shoving OFF?</p><p>Sorry Sir. Just…</p><p>Just WHAT Ellison?</p><p>SORRY SIR! Let myself get distracted. No excuse!</p><p>Damn straight. You aren't here to look at the pretty sunset on the ocean boy. You want to survive Ranger training or quit and go back to regular Army?</p><p>RANGERS SIR!</p><p>Then focus Mister! You get distracted in the field and you not only get yourself killed but maybe your whole team.</p><p>Yes Sir. Won't happen again.</p><p>See it doesn't Ellison. Now move it, move it, move it!</p><p>...</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance </em>
    <em>,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Masoltov Blair. Well done.</p><p>Thank you Rabbi.</p><p>You are a very good student Blair. You have the makings of a great scholar. But I have never been asked so many questions! And I do not see you in Temple.</p><p>Sorry Rabbi. I'm studying the Torah, the Talmud, the Bible, and any other ancient texts I can find. They are a form of colloquial history of the cultures that produced them. I'm working on my Masters in Anthropology.</p><p>So you see the Torah as a history Text?</p><p>Sort of. I've studied a lot of different societies and a common theme seems to be that cultures try to explain the unexplainable in context with a God figure of some kind. Illness and disease gets construed as judgments from a higher power, and a lot of religious practices evolve out of hygiene practices.</p><p>What about your faith? Do you not believe in God?</p><p>Oh yeah Rabbi. Man do I ever! You'd kind of have to be blind, deaf and dumb to not get the message, ya know? I mean, everything is so…well, so, INCREDIBLE! Man… the sunrise, or birth or a tree, the sea, or, or…well…it ALL is just so, so, WOW! Ya gotta be pretty damn, oops sorry Rabbi…, um, but well it would be pretty arrogant to think of all this as just coincidence. Ya see?</p><p>Yes Blair, I see. And I am please you do see God's work. But you are also a Jew, and our faith demands more than just recognizing God…it means living by certain precepts and laws. The Torah is our laws as well as our history. Our covenant.</p><p>I know Rabbi. And I do respect the writings, I do. But ya see I really just don't believe anyone, any religion, is more correct than another. I don't do the orthodox route because I've seen Maori wise men, Inuit medicine men, and Mayan Shaman, all guiding their people in worship of God without any doubts in their beliefs. I don't think anyone has exclusive rights to God. Or that one belief is right and all the rest wrong. I think faith is enough without the trappings of religion confusing the main point, God. No disrespect meant Rabbi!</p><p>None taken Blair. Sometimes absolute faith in something being absolutely right, is the foundation for a stronger faith. As a Jew I know in my heart that I am one of the chosen people of the lord, wouldn't you like to explore the rich heritage of your people. It is good you accept other cultures and their faiths, but you are a Jew.</p><p>Maybe Rabbi. But I think if I'm right, God will accept me for my faith, and if I'm wrong, well God will forgive me for my faith. Sort of a win win situation!</p><p>Ha Ha Huumm um well I can see you have this all figured out Blair. You will be back next Saturday? I would like to talk more.</p><p>I hope so Rabbi. But I'm hoping to land a spot on a Brazil expedition that leaves this summer. If I'm approved I'm gonna have to spend every spare second preparing.</p><p>Well, I wish you the best of luck lad. Shalom.</p><p>Shalom Rabbi.</p><p>...</p><p>Captain?</p><p>Yeah?</p><p>Um, aren't you coming to chapel?</p><p>Nope. You go ahead Miller. I've got some papers to finish up before reveille.</p><p>Oh. Okay.</p><p>You got a problem Miller?</p><p>No SIR!</p><p>Spit it out son, we leave for the Chopec pass tomorrow for a lotta months of hard humpin, if you have something on your mind you need to get it settled before it distracts you in the field.</p><p>Well Sir…it's just… well, Sir do you believe in God?</p><p>WHAT?</p><p>Sorry. Never mind. Excuse me Captain Ellison. Permission to leave SIR?</p><p>Settle down Miller. Take a seat, and relax…I don't bite.</p><p>I'm sorry Sir, I didn't mean to pry. I just….</p><p>How old are you Miller?</p><p>Twenty four, Sir.</p><p>And you've been a Ranger for two of those years, and straight Army for four before that?</p><p>Yes Sir?</p><p>You seen some really bad shit in those six years haven't you Miller? I mean reeeaaallly BAD!</p><p>Yyyes Sir…</p><p>And you believe in God?</p><p>YES Sir.</p><p>How?</p><p>How what Sir?</p><p>How do you believe in God, in a loving, supreme being, when you've seen the reality that man is, without a doubt, THE most screwed up, destructive, murderous, evil living thing on the whole planet. If there were a God, why wouldn't he do something to stop man's straight out cruelty toward each other?</p><p>Because he loves us Sir.</p><p>Huh?</p><p>Because he loves us enough to allow us free will, to be good or evil, to do right or wrong, to love each other, or hate each other. If he forced us to do the right thing Sir, we'd be sort of like pets more than people. It's our choices that bring us closer to God.</p><p>Or the devil.</p><p>Yeah, him too I guess.</p><p>I guess.</p><p>I didn't mean to seem disrespectful Captain. I just wondered, ya know, because…</p><p>Because, what?</p><p>Because you don't seem afraid. Ever. I've been on three really hairy missions with you Sir. And I've yet to see you sweat, or curse…or pray. So I wondered if maybe you got your strength from your faith.</p><p>Tomorrow got you spooked huh Miller?</p><p>SIR NO SIR!</p><p>Listen Miller. Being afraid is not a bad thing, hell you know that. They drilled it into us in the Ranger's. Fear keeps you sharp, keeps you from doing something stupid. If you think I'm not afraid on these missions, you're crazy. I am.</p><p>Doesn't seem like it from the outside Sir.</p><p>Well on the inside I am just as nervous as any rank recruit kid.</p><p>Yeah?</p><p>Yeah.</p><p>Okay.</p><p>That makes you feel better somehow Miller?</p><p>Yes Sir. I've had a really bad feeling about this mission since you first briefed us Sir. Never been so afraid in all my life. Truth be told I've been to chapel every spare minute I could get the last few days, praying up a storm. Begging God to take the fear away, before I embarrassed myself and the team.</p><p>And did it work?</p><p>No Sir. I have to admit, I'm still quaking on this one. But if you are afraid sometimes,…</p><p>Pretty much all the time Corporal.</p><p>Oh, well if you are afraid and can manage to not show it, well maybe I'll stop trying not to be afraid, and just work on not showing it.</p><p>Never let em' see ya sweat, huh Miller?</p><p>Something like that. Thanks Captain.</p><p>You're welcome, I guess.</p><p>Good night Sir.</p><p>Going on to chapel?</p><p>Yes Sir.</p><p>Hold up a sec and I'll join you.</p><p>But I thought…?</p><p>I asked you how you could believe in spite of everything you've seen. I didn't say I don't believe.</p><p>So you do believe in God?</p><p>Yeah Miller, I do.</p><p>But how? I mean, what you said.</p><p>It's this way Miller. I know there is a God, because I've for sure seen the handiwork of the devil. So if one exists, so must the other.</p><p>Oh!</p><p>And also, only God could have inspired the making of beer.</p><p>Beer?</p><p>A cold beer on a hot, humid night…just think on that Miller.</p><p>Heaven!</p><p>Exactly.</p><p>...</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Never settle for the path of least resistance</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Well Sandburg, you made up your mind yet? You staying or going?</p><p>Hell Mitch, give me a minute here to think. I've been working toward this for a year and you want me to chuck it without even thinking about it!</p><p>What's to think about? You go off with Stoddard for almost a year, on some hot and miserable expedition, to Brazil for God's sake, holding you back from graduation for months. Or you take my offer of my position as Dr. Doyle's TA, stay in Cascade, breeze through a study of some local descendents of French immigrants, graduate early with your Masters in Sociology and your PhD a couple of years later. Doyle's easy to please, not the least bit demanding.</p><p>Then why are you resigning as his TA?</p><p>Simple Blair. Got a better offer. Dr. Tesdale over in Psychology, his TA got homesick for Missouri, though who the hell gets homesick for Missouri I'll never know, and I had some pull to get the position. Tesdale's got one of the cushiest budgets of any of the departments and tons of grants.</p><p>But your field's Sociology? Don't you care about your research? You really just want to switch?</p><p>Just like you Sandburg, I've kept up dual studies, Sociology and Psychology. Six of one, half a dozen of the other as to which I graduate with. I can get a starting salary in the six figures if I play this off right.</p><p>I don't know Mitch. I'm really not into Sociology as much as Anthro. I've been dreaming of this expedition for months.</p><p>Yeah, dreaming all right. You've had half a dozen nightmares in the last month.</p><p>Yeah well it's a little intimidating man, we're going to be living with a tribe along the Amazon that hasn't totally given up on the idea of cannibalism as a protein source ya know? And after what happened in Columbia on our last trip…the death squads…I, well…</p><p>Would you listen to yourself Sandburg, you're gonna give yourself one of your damn panic attacks! That's another point. You aren't cut out for this jungle explorer crap. Jeez, you're two years younger than me and you've nearly been killed twice on these god forsaken traipses that Stoddard drags you on. Stay in Cascade. Take the job with Doyle, sit back and chill. You're supposed to be a genius kid, show your smarts. If you weren't my roommate I wouldn't even be offering you this. There are guys on campus who'd pay me for this chance. So I'll tell Doyle to expect you on Monday, right?</p><p>Sigh, I am probably going to hate myself in the morning Mitch, but no.</p><p>NO? You're kidding? You can't be that crazy kid! You're passing up the damn brass ring here!</p><p>Mitch, this may sound goofy to you, but I love Anthropology. It's not a means to an end. I Really love it. Yeah I'm frightened sometimes, hell, lots of times. But I won't… I can't, turn away from my research. I'm looking for something. Maybe I'll find it in Brazil, maybe not, but I don't have a chance if I stop looking. I'm nineteen Mitch, way to early for me to give up the dream man. Maybe someday I'll find something more important to me…but this ain't it.</p><p>...</p><p>Enquiri?</p><p>Incacha?</p><p>You are in pain Enquiri?</p><p>I'm fine Incacha. My arm is almost completely healed.</p><p>It is not the pain in your arm that I speak of, but the pain of your spirit.</p><p>My team is dead Shaman. I buried eight good men six days ago. We came here to stop the drugs moving through this valley. If I can't get the job done…they died for nothing, and I survived for nothing.</p><p>So you will try to do this thing alone?</p><p>One way or another, the cartel is going to be stopped from using the pass.</p><p>They have many men with guns, the kind that fire many bullets, very many!</p><p>I don't plan to let them see me. What they can't see, they can't shot.</p><p>Do you have such guns?</p><p>No…most of our, my, supplies went up when the chopper crashed. I've got the four hundred rounds I had on me when I was thrown from the wreck, and that's it.</p><p>And when those are gone?</p><p>I'll fight with arrows, or stones, or sticks…whatever it takes.</p><p>One of my men could lead you out of the valley, to the village near the great water. You could rejoin your people.</p><p>I've got a job to finish Incacha. I thought you said your tribe also wanted to stop these men from coming through your territory. You said they've killed some of your men, stolen or raped your women and you had to move your village because they burned your last one by the river? I thought you'd want me to stay to fight these men.</p><p>I do Enquiri, my tribe also. But it is a very hard thing that we will do. Death will walk with us many times; stalk us like the great cat. If you are looking for your death, I did not want to send any of my young men with you.</p><p>Then don't. It'll be harder to find the trails the cartel's mules are using without additional trackers, and take longer to get it done, but as long as your people don't get in my way, I'm fine with doing it alone.</p><p>You are sure?</p><p>Yeah. I'm sure.</p><p>So you are ready to begin.</p><p>Begin?</p><p>Yes Enquiri. Begin. My vision guide told me of your coming and that I must help you to the beginning of your spirit path. You have a gift you do not yet know about, I will help you use it. But I had to be sure you would not turn away if the journey became hard.</p><p>I'm not into visions and spirit stuff Shaman. I respect your beliefs, but I don't share them. I just want to stop the cartel. That's the only help I need or want from you.</p><p>You have much to learn Enquiri.</p><p>Sure…</p><p>...</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Blair sweetie…PLEASE!</p><p>No Mom. I won't leave this time. I just can't.</p><p>But Blair, he's…he's a….</p><p>Cop Mom. He's a cop. He's also part of my studies. And my friend, he's taught me a lot.</p><p>Like what? How to meet psycho's and murderers? You're in the hospital because of him.</p><p>Lash put me in here Naomi, not Jim. I'm alive because of Jim. He saved my life!</p><p>Yes…by killing a man…shooting him SIX TIMES!</p><p>To save MY LIFE! Shit Naomi, would you have preferred him letting me die to let Lash live!</p><p>Blair Jacob Sandburg, do NOT talk to me like that! Of course I want you alive. You know what I am saying. If you were not with that man you would not have been put in danger in the first place. He's a violent man in a violent job. You are a teacher baby! You don't need to be around such people. You are kind and gentle and good, and I just think you need to hear what I'm trying to say here.</p><p>I do hear you Mom. Trust me, I know exactly what you think. When I first met Jim I kind of thought the same thing. Big, loud, tough cop, who shoots first and asks questions later. But that's not the way it is. Jim is a good man Naomi, one of the best. And the guys in Major Crime, where he works, they're good people too. They don't enjoy shooting people, they all abhor violence. But they have all sworn an oath to protect the people. Bad guys on the other hand don't mind using guns, knives, hell even bombs. There was this one jerk named Kincaid…he had Stinger missiles for God's sake! It's people like Jim that are the guards at the gate against the people most of us wouldn't stand a chance against.</p><p>Okay, he's a good cop. They're all wonderful cops. I understand if you have to spend time with them to study them and their world….but you live with one of them sweetie? You've always been so self-sufficient. Why do you have to spend so much time with this Jim Ellison?</p><p>I don't have to Naomi…I want to. Jim isn't just a study subject. Like I said, he's a friend. My best friend. I enjoy working with him, and Simon, and Joel, Rafe, and Henry. They do important work, and I feel good about being part of their team, I even helped put some bad guys away.</p><p>Oh Blair! Would you just listen to yourself? You are starting to talk just like one of them; these aren't your people baby. You can't be comfortable with a bunch of jack booted ruffians. Please tell me you'll stop this craziness.</p><p>Jack booted ruffians? Not my people? Jeez Naomi, sometimes even I don't understand you. You picket for tolerance and individuality and then you brand a whole group of guys you haven't even met! Well guess what mom? That qualifies you as prejudiced.</p><p>Sweetie, please…..</p><p>No. I am not going to leave this time. I'm an adult now mom…have been for years. I'm where I want to be, with people I want to be with, doing something I love. And I am staying. Live with it.</p><p>Blair…</p><p>I mean it Naomi.</p><p>Yes dear. I hear that. I…I just want to say, well, I love you sweetie. I may not understand this, but I can see that you are following your heart, and I wouldn't want to ever stop you doing that. But…</p><p>But what?</p><p>But…you will be careful, won't you Blair?</p><p>Of course.</p><p>And, you'll introduce me to this Jim of yours?</p><p>You bet! I really want you to meet him Mom. Hell, he's been here with me all night long. The only reason he's not here now is he had to go deal with the Feds. Lash crossed a lot of state lines. He'll be back in a couple of hours when I'm discharged and you'll meet him then.</p><p>Oh Sweetie. I wish I could stay. When I got Captain Bank's call I was only able to switch my tickets for one with a six-hour layover. I have to fly out of SeaTac in two hours. I pretty much have to leave now to make it. But as soon as I can arrange it, I'll be back. I want to see the new life you've made for yourself.</p><p>Cool!</p><p>Love you baby.</p><p>Love you to Mom.</p><p>...</p><p>Ellison! Just because your vision is sort of back doesn't make you recovered. Would you stop with the pacing! What the hell is up with you?</p><p>God Simon. Why? Why him? There are a couple of hundred guys in the building and Blair ends up getting the dosed pizza. Why?</p><p>We've already talked about this Jim. They were sending a message to Major Crimes and the kid just happened to be in the way. But he's going to be okay.</p><p>Is he? We don't know that for sure. Just because they got him off the respirator doesn't mean he's fine. You heard the doctors, Golden's such a new drug they don't know enough about it to know what might happen. He still hasn't regained consciousness. He…..he…. He could have died Simon; I had no business involving him in all this shit. He's an Anthropologist! What the hell was I thinking!</p><p>You were thinking that if we didn't catch whoever was making the Golden there was going to be dead kids showing up all over Cascade. And the kid knew it to, knew that your senses were the best hope of nailing those animals. You couldn't have stopped him getting involved. Hell! I couldn't have stopped him. He's just as stubborn and tenacious as you Jim. And you know it. Now will you please… Sit. Down!</p><p>Damn IT!</p><p>Well that was mature Jim. Kick another chair, that will sure convince the doctors to consider your request to stay with Sandburg after visit hours end.</p><p>Simon, I…I… Shit Simon I don't know what to do.</p><p>Nothing to do but wait. Your vision is clearing, and Sandburg will come back to. You just have to be patient.</p><p>You sound so sure Simon. What if the drugs have done something to him. God what if there is brain damage? If I'm responsible for that kid being impaired the rest of his life, that unique mind ruined…</p><p>Jim! Stop it. Don't go borrowing trouble. Sandburg will be fine. He's been hurt before and he's always come out of it okay. Just trust that this time will be the same. He may be a trouble magnet, but he's definitely got a guardian angel looking out for him.</p><p>Yeah, guardian angel, maybe Simon. But I'm supposed to be the one looking out for him, remember…I'm his 'Blessed Protector.' What crap. I'm probably the single greatest hazard to his health there is. If he comes out of this okay what I ought to do is cut him loss and let him go back to his safe academic world.</p><p>Do you really think that would be the right thing to do Jim?</p><p>Yes. No. Ah hell Simon. I can't. Maybe I'm a selfish bastard, but I just can't. He's a part of me, of my life. Somehow he's found his way into everything. My home, my job…</p><p>Your heart?</p><p>Yeah Simon. Even my heart. There was a time there I wasn't even sure I had one, but he found it right off and just bored in and made it home. I couldn't even begin to explain what it's like, worrying about him, needing to know he's home before I can go to sleep at night…</p><p>You love him.</p><p>…..Yeah…. I do. And it scares the shit out of me Simon. He's my kid brother, my friend, my teacher, and something even more that's wrapped up in the Sentinel crap. I was a loner for so damn long, and now I just can't imagine life without him.</p><p>Well, no offense Jim, but none of that is news to anyone who knows you two. You're like two sides of the same wacky coin. You may need the kid, but he needs you to.</p><p>Needs me? Not likely Simon. I can't manage the Sentinel gig without him, but he could do just fine without me. In fact he'd be a damn professor by now if he hadn't detoured to help me out.</p><p>You know Jim, for a guy with super vision, you are sort of blind. If you looked at the kid without all the guilt maybe you'd see it…he loves you to. He's been pretty lonely to, and you've given him a stable home, and been the friend and brother he never had. Do you really want to take that away from him?</p><p>What if I get him killed? Is it worth it?</p><p>What if you send him away and then he gets hit by lightening or killed by a mugger?</p><p>SIMON!</p><p>I'm just saying that no one is guaranteed tomorrow Jim. With you or apart, there are a lot of dangerous things out there. I may not know Sandburg as well as you…but I think the kid would rather take his chances and live the life that makes him happy instead of hiding away.</p><p>Detective Ellison?</p><p>Yes!</p><p>Detective, I'm Dr. Carter. I'm told you're the family of Mr. Sandburg?</p><p>Yeah, he's my partner, and I have his Power of Attorney. Is there a problem? Is he worse?</p><p>No, no. I'm sorry. Dr. Klein called me in for a consult on Mr. Sandburg. I'm a specialist in neuropharmacology. He thought I might be able to figure on how best to deal with Mr. Sandburg's toxic exposure to the drug…Golden I believe it is called. So I had just finished my neurological examination, and</p><p>AND what… Is he worse? Damn, there is brain damage isn't there. This can not be happening, what does he need, what…</p><p>Easy Detective…Mr. Sandburg is fine. I found no evidence of any lasting neurological damage. He can expect a full recovery. In fact he's conscious and asking to see you.</p><p>WHAT. Hell why didn't you say so? Simon I gotta go.</p><p>Jim… give the kid my best.</p><p>Sure Simon. And Simon…</p><p>Yeah Jim?</p><p>It is worth it.</p><p>...</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter</em>
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</p><p>Jim?</p><p>I'm okay Chief.</p><p>You're not okay Jim. You loved her.</p><p>She was an assassin.</p><p>Yeah…but you loved her.</p><p>Leave it alone Sandburg.</p><p>You need to stop being so damn stoic Jim, you loved her and she died. Let yourself grieve.</p><p>Grieve for what? None of it was real. She didn't love me; I was just a diversion, a quickie on the side. It didn't matter to her.</p><p>That's not how it was man, and you know it. She cared for you.</p><p>She led me right into an ambush.</p><p>She died protecting you.</p><p>Yeah.</p><p>I'm sorry man. I wish I could make it better.</p><p>I know Chief.</p><p>You want me to go? Give you some privacy?</p><p>No…Don't go.</p><p>I'm here man. Whenever you want, whatever you need.</p><p>Thanks Chief.</p><p>You need to eat Sandburg.</p><p>I told you I'm not hungry Jim.</p><p>You haven't been hungry in two days. You need to get past this Chief.</p><p>Just leave me alone Jim. I don't want to deal with your mother henning right now.</p><p>Fine, stay in here, moping over Maya and starving your self. I'll just wait until you pass out and haul your butt to the hospital. You'll wake up with tubes up every hole you got and getting your meals through an I.V.</p><p>Shut up Jim. You don't understand shit.</p><p>Oh I understand fine. Maya ripped your heart to shreds once before and you curled into a ball and went zombie for days. You didn't eat until you ended up sick. I don't plan to let this be a repeat performance.</p><p>Lay off Jim. You're not my damn mother!</p><p>Well at least you're talking. That's an improvement over the plant imitation you've been the last two days.</p><p>Fk off.</p><p>Can't. I'd lose my 'Blessed Protector' badge.</p><p>Just leave me alone man…please. Please Jim. I just need to be alone.</p><p>No Chief, being alone is the one thing you don't need right now.</p><p>Jim…</p><p>You're hurting Blair. But you got over her before, and you'll do it again. I wish things could have turned out different for you, but wishing don't make it so. She's gone, and you need to let it go.</p><p>You're probably glad she's gone. You never liked Maya.</p><p>You're right, I don't like her. She hurt someone I'm damn fond of and now she's done it again. I protect those I care about. And about now I'd happily push her down a flight of stairs.</p><p>JIM!</p><p>Oh, not in front of witnesses or anything. But if the occasion presented itself, well…accidents happen.</p><p>Shit man; remind me never to get on your bad side. You are seriously scary sometimes. Is that what they taught you in Covert Ops, how to beat up on 98 pound girls.</p><p>Nah, that was my cub scout self defense class, all the girls were taller than me. In Covert Ops we would have made the 98-pound girl disappear. Poof.</p><p>POOF? Like I said man…scary… Uh Jim…</p><p>Yeah Sandburg.</p><p>I just want to say. I appreciate…well… the sentiment. What you said about being fond of me. Thanks man. I feel better knowing someone cares, even if he tends to take the Blessed Protector crap a little over the top.</p><p>Hey, you're the one who documented all those territorial guardian traits and being driven to defend the tribe stuff, Professor. I'm just running true to 'nature.' Me Jim, You Blair…Uggh.</p><p>Hah hah. Funny Jim. Regress a little farther and your knuckles will be dragging on the floor.</p><p>Well that might make it easier to pick up the crap you leave strewn over the floor all the time.</p><p>I'm not that bad!</p><p>Some days I can't see the wood floors Chief. And Mrs. Antonia was up here and thought a paper mill exploded.</p><p>I was grading over two hundred papers for crying out loud Jim. It was finals week. When are you going to let me live that weekend down?</p><p>About the same time I get you housebroken.</p><p>God not that again. You and your anal retentive, inhibited, military rigid, ultra Mr. Clean RULES!</p><p>Without order there is chaos.</p><p>It's 'without order there is anarchy.' At least get your quotes right Jim.</p><p>Whatever you say Professor.</p><p>Jim?</p><p>Yeah.</p><p>Thanks man.</p><p>Anytime. You want Chinese or Pizza?</p><p>Chinese.</p><p>You got it.</p><p>...</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>When you come close to sellin' out reconsider</em>
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</p><p>I know it's a great opportunity Professor Stoddard. I really do. I can't thank you enough for considering me. But I just can't go.</p><p>Blair my boy, you are the top candidate for the Richardson Grant for the study of South American tribal cultures. Participation in this expedition would almost guarantee you for it. You really should think about this. Months ago when you helped me put this together you were anxious to be included. You thought you might find more verbal histories of your ancient Watchmen in Borneo. What changed?</p><p>I have. Please Eli, I can't go into details but recently my life has taken sort of a whole new direction. I just can't pick up and go away for a year. I just can't.</p><p>So it's true…I'm so happy for you my boy.</p><p>Huh? What do you mean? Eli you've lost me here.</p><p>I may be old Blair, but I am not senile. And I have known you since your mother dropped your precocious fifteen-year old self off at Rainier eleven years ago. Recently I have heard much interesting gossip from your students and fellow T.A.'s about this 'new direction' in your life, including your new friend. You have been my best and brightest student, and we have, if you remember, had many an occasion to talk late into the night.</p><p>Eli I…</p><p>I particularly remember a time in Uruguay. You were barely nineteen I think, and just slightly tipsy on the fermented beverage the Shaman had gotten you to drink earlier. You were watching two of the warriors who were such close friends that the Shaman said they were brothers of spirit if not blood. I'll always remember the longing in your gaze, and what you said that night. You hoped for two things in life…to find proof of Burton's Sentinels, and to find your own soul brother. I have a feeling congratulations are in order my boy.</p><p>Professor Stoddard I haven't got a clue what you are…</p><p>Relax Blair. I'm not expecting you to betray your friend. I hope you know I am also your friend, and will trust that I will never discuss this with anyone else. Just remember that if you ever need my help, just ask. I wish you well with both your dreams.</p><p>Professor Stoddard?</p><p>Yes Professor Sandburg?</p><p>Thanks! And good luck in Borneo.</p><p>You're welcome, and good luck in Cascade.</p><p>...</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance</em>
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</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I hope you dance</em>
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</p><p>Come on Jim, get with it.</p><p>No way Sandburg. There is just no way…</p><p>Man it's a fellow officers wedding. It's expected. You gotta.</p><p>Nope. I don't gotta.</p><p>Why not?</p><p>Just look at them Chief…I think it'll answer that question.</p><p>They're dancing man, like you should be.</p><p>That ain't dancin'.</p><p>It's the Polka Jim; it's a staple for Polish weddings.</p><p>Maybe. But no way it can be called dancin'.</p><p>Hey man, just look at Simon.</p><p>I am. And watching him just proves my point. Whatever he's doing, does not qualify as dancing.</p><p>I'll be sure to tell him that Jim. Now come on, move those size twelve's.</p><p>Sandburg, you can't be deaf. NO! Stop dragging me; let go off my tie, I'm not a dog on a leash.</p><p>Now where did the guys go? Hey SIMON!</p><p>Over here Sandburg. About time you two got on the floor.</p><p>I'm not here Simon; I'm just passing through from one side of the room to the other.</p><p>Oh no you don't Ellison. I'm giving you a direct order, as Daryl would say…'get down'.</p><p>Simon it's the Polka!</p><p>He keeps saying that Simon…pull rank or something.</p><p>Ellison, if I can do the Polka,</p><p>That's still questionable Simon.</p><p>Shut up Sandburg, I'm trying to be intimidating here. Jim…Shake that boo tee!</p><p>Haha. God Simon, where is a camera and tape recorder when I need one?</p><p>Hey Jim! Cool moves. Look Simon…by Jove, I think he's got it! I'll be damned, Jim's got dance! Go man go.</p><p>Hey Sandburg what's going on?</p><p>Oh Rafe, who'd a thunk it… Simon and Jim are doing dueling Polka!</p><p>Snort…God Sandburg, who but you? Hey I gotta go find Brown, he brought a video camera.</p><p>Sandburg!</p><p>Yeah Jim?</p><p>I don't see you dancing!</p><p>Right with you man. Move over…give the master room.</p><p>Master…heck kid, you don't even get apprentice status with those moves.</p><p>You're just jealous Jim. These are classic steps…do you realize that almost all dance moves trace back to primitive man. Even the Neanderthals danced, to worship, give thanks for the successful hunt, the coming of spring…</p><p>Blair!</p><p>Yeah Jim?</p><p>Just dance Chief.</p><p>Snort…Like I said…jealous.</p><p>In your dreams Astair.</p><p>Shoot, the Polka's over. Wow, now the Twist! That brings back memories. Back to the smorgasbord for you I guess huh Jim.</p><p>You trying to get rid of me Chief?</p><p>No man, never…I just figured you old guys would need a rest after all that exertion.</p><p>OLD GUYS! Them's fighting words Junior. I can out Twist your butt until you drop.</p><p>Whoa man, that Polka's made you cocky, or at least delusional. You outlast me dancing? Not going to happen. I am the energizer twist bunny, full of energy.</p><p>You're full of something Sandburg.</p><p>Well you just tell me when you're ready to concede Jim…wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. "Lets twist again, like we did last summer, let's twist again, like we did last yeeeeaaaaaarrr."</p><p>Ha ha ha…Blair you better stick to dancing, that voice might attract mules.</p><p>Hey look…Brown's videotaping this for posterity.</p><p>Oh God No!</p><p>Jim?</p><p>Yeah Chief?</p><p>Thanks for inviting me; I'm having a good time.</p><p>As much as I hate to admit it…so am I.</p><p>End.</p>
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